The rain is here.

So this isn't really something that I would normally blog about. I try to keep my blog a little more impersonal. But since this saga has taken up, and will continue to take up, a fair chunk of my life, so I guess sharing the details won't be so detrimental, most everyone I know, knows anyway.

After marriage, the next step is generally babies. So after 18 unsuccessful months, I visited my mother's employer who also happens to be a gynecologist. A hysteroscope and laproscope were decided upon and being a friend to the Dr and staff, my appointment was made for the operation in two weeks time. For those of you who don't know a hysteroscope is basically where there go through your cervix and do a bit of a 'dust and clean', as it were, of your uterus. Pretty straight forward. The laproscope is where they make several incisions (5mm-10mm) in your abdomen, at different places, then they fill your abdomen up with carbon dioxide and have a look around, essentially to see if there is anything wrong and flush some dye through the Fallopian tubes to ensure they are not blocked. Also pretty straight forward, minimal risk of complications and a month of recovery before you can return to normality. My Dr had asked me prior to the operation, what my plans were for the upcoming month, "I plan to make babies!" was my reply.

So the day of the op, I was starving and not nervous at all. This was to be my 7th anesthetic, 'accident prone', would be putting it gently, so was used to theatre (as much as you can be). I think the fact that I'm also a nurse, probably does more to hinder the situation, than to help it, ignorance is bliss sometimes, as the saying goes.

After the operation, I recall coming to in the recovery, I was getting a lot more attention than I was used to, something was wrong. I asked what was happening, my blood pressure was low. I said "it's normally a bit low", the reply was "not this low". I was surprisingly groggy after the anesthetic which is not normal for me. A nurse friend came and give me a big hug, with a very worried look and soon I was being sent in an ambulance from the private hospital I was in, to the base hospital. The only other thing I recall was that the procedure had gone off without any problems and that everything appeared well.

The base hospital, I was also receiving a great deal more attention than I would like. I work in Emergency Department, I know that a lot of attention is never a good thing. God knows how many doctors, nurses, students, cleaning staff (ha ha) has surrounded me, and were proceeding to try and get and arterial line in my arm. I'm pretty sure that it was 12 stabs in one arm and 8 in the other before they achieved success. They were very apologetic, but I was in a fair bit of pain by now and I wasn't overly concerned. I was then whisked off for a CT which in hindsight, I could have told them, was a waste of time. If we think about this logically; my blood pressure was dropping, I was white as the sheet, what could have caused it? The only logically response to that I can think of, is that I was bleeding, internally. So to theatre again I was sent, anesthetic number eight. Exploratory laprotomy, is a term that I am now fairly familiar with, it is basically where they cut you open and have a good look around.

Bruises are the laproscope site. You can't feintly see the old laporotomy scar above from 3yrs ago. 

As you can probably tell, from this blog, I'm not dead. Although, from what I'm told, it was only just. Apparently, when they made the incision, it released the pressure, that all my blood in my abdomen had been holding on the artery that was punctured. So I bled, and bled and then I think I bled a bit more. I was told that I lost 7L of blood; in my body, I probably only have 4.5L; so as you may guess, I even lost some that wasn't mine to lose. I had 22units of blood products transfused, my Hb (red blood cell count) which at its lowest is normally 115, dropped to 35, my blood pressure was 40/20. So for those of you familiar with these figures, I was hanging on by the skin of my teeth, for those of you who don't know..... I was hanging on by the skin of my teeth. 

Recovery from this was a bit steady. I remember waking up in ICU (intensive care unit) when I was still intubated, and I was trying to pull the tubes out of my throat. I think perhaps I got aggressive because when I woke, I was tied down. ha ha. Oh well that's what they get for not sedating me well enough. The nasogastric (tube down your nose into your stomach) was the first thing to come out, and I was so grateful. Those are the worst. I had a bit of trouble breathing, I was very overloaded with fluid, from all the transfusions. First day, wasn't so bad, I think I was glad to be alive.

I was told that I was lucky, a vascular surgeon happened to be doing a locum in the hospital and managed to suture my aorta (your main artery). He flew out the next morning. The next doctor who came to visit (you get a lot in public hospitals) asked me if I understood what had happened. I said "my artery was severed", "he replied, "yes, your aorta". I looked at him bewildered. "I don't think so," I said, "are you sure?" I think this doctor was a little taken aback that I would question his greatness. "Yes, yes, your, your aorta was severed during the laproscope," he stammered. 

"People don't normally live through that!"

"Ah, well no, not normally"

So turns out I've got a few more lives than I thought. 

Going into the exploratory laprotomy, myself and the surgeon, had thought my spleen, liver or bowel my have ruptured. I had a previous laprotomy 3 years earlier, when a cow split my pancreas in half, and we believed the adhesions resulting from that op had torn when I was blown up with carbon dioxide. 

So now was all about recovery, with the PCA (patient controlled analgesia) in my hand and probably just a fair dose of adrenalin, running through me, I was discharged from ICU and sent to the ward. A rough night a had, after the adrenalin wore off, the morphine didn't cut it. My breathing wasn't real good either, with still a lot of fluid on my lungs. The next morning, and I'm sorry if this is harsh, but the nurse, who obviously didn't realize exactly what I had been through, insisted I have a shower and then after wheeling me in there, left me, while my bed was made. I was flat out breathing, let alone shower myself. That afternoon, after my observations hadn't been done for over 5 hours, mum was not happy (she's also a nurse). The finally were done, and a MET call (medical emergency team) ensued. Despite the lack of the MET call team and alarm, but that's what the document said had happened. Turns out my breathing wasn't so flash after all. Back to ICU. 

Thank god mum brought her 'cow' bag of food every day to feed me or I may have starved on that crap hospital food. And to my beautiful husband for running around to get me some hospital clothes. 

I stayed here for a few more days and then I think after sending me off prematurely (mostly due to their need for my bed I think), they were reluctant to let me go. So I was an out-lie next door in CCU (coronary care unit). Slowly I improved and showering was far easier, with mum to help, rather than the stressed nurses. Although the ICU and CCU nurses were beautiful and patient. The physio people were the worst (I say in jest). Breath, they would say, (oh yeh, let me cut you open and then fill you up with fluid and see how well you breath, if I wasn't so unwell I would punch you!). I got weighed in CCU, 7kg, more than my usual weight, and I hadn't really eaten for 4 days. So it was fair to say that I had some extra fluid on board. 

Recovery went pretty good, my breathing improved and I was just about able to shower myself. Good to go home I thought, and so I told the doctor. I had been in hospital 9 days now and 2 days ago I had been sent to Surgical ward, not a lot of fun, I was ready for home. But my blood tests weren't satisfying and so I was sent for another CT. Two hours later I had a visit from two doctors. This was not a usual ward round. "How are you feeling?"

"Not so well having seen you pair here."

"Yes well, we just want to know how you were feeling, any changes?"

As it was, stupid me, told them, that mum and I had both thought, I had, had more swelling today. Great! The CT showed active bleeding from the repair site. Happy, I was not! Held it together pretty well, until mum returned to visit in the afternoon, I knew it was going to break her heart. I was never really that worried for myself, not that I wasn't scared. But I can understand that it's hard to be a bystander, especially when your so damb helpless. So, exploratory laporotomy, seems like there is an echo in my story. Anesthetic number 9, and yes I'm told that's very bad for your memory (truly), that's my excuse anyhow.  

I think I ended up back in ICU, just as a precaution but it was hard. The night after the op, I was in such unbearable pain, nothing they gave me would relieve it. Unlike in the first op where they had put a local anestheic drip going into my wound site, the anesthetist did not believe I would be in much pain, and so I did not have any this time. She was wrong! All I could do was moan and when they asked me what my pain score was I said "20/10", luckily they knew me or they may have thought I was full of it. Finally, out of exhaustion, not relief, I fell asleep. The next day, I was still in a fair bit of pain and it wasn't until a lovely female doctor came and dosed me up on ketamine, that I was actually pain free again.  This lovely lady, for the first time, since all of this occurred, said she was sorry for what I had gone through. She, had nothing to do with any of it, other than relieving my pain, but yet she was the only person to apologise, 10 days post the original surgery. It was seemed such a small thing, but it was just what we needed to bring down some of the walls we were building. 

Only good thing about Surgical, I could have flowers. 

  Being back in ICU was nice but I had made a point of getting to know these doctors and their names;  I was feeling so lousy and to have all 10 of them (sometimes there really were that many), looking down on me with such despair. I think they liked me because it's not normal to have a patient in ICU that actually speaks, most are too unwell even for that. I couldn't look any of them in the eye, this second round was a lot more emotional than the first, I didn't feel I had the strength to start all over again. Luckily, without the fluid overload, recovery this time was far easier. I didn't have the difficulty breathing, and once I was out of pain, I could get up far easier. My bowels were a bit of a drama, but I will spare you that story, just to say that they are finally good as gold now. 

My two mummies, real one on the right.

So the second laporotomy, found nothing. Just in case you were still wondering. So the second surgery, pain and emotional stress on everyone, had all been to no avail. I was discharged from ICU and spent another 3-4 days in surgical ward. I'm not blaming the nurses, but it's very difficult to do anything in surgical ward, other than to look after yourself. Getting pain relief is a drama in itself. As soon as I was up to it, home was where I was wanting to go (home to mum's in town anyway). I was now eating, drinking, bowels moving and my bloods were improving, so I put the pressure on, and home I was sent. 

My gorgeous niece and nephew. 

A week at home and I was due for a doctors appointment. I had been going ok, it was good to sleep. But I was still on a lot of pain relief and I was a bit despondent because, I guess I felt as though I should have been 9 days in front of where I was. The second op had been a fair set back to my recovery. I went to see my GP, concerned that I should still be in so much pain, I was sent for a CT. Another one! This was a big day out for me, as most days I had been sleeping all night and then another 3 hours or more during the day. I was stuffed. So in the afternoon, we were waiting for the results. When we rang the surgery to ask if they were in, we requested that he just tell us about them over the phone. He wouldn't, not a good sign, I knew it, mum knew it. But it was unspeakable. So I went back to see the GP. 

False aneurysm. My new word for the day. So now I'm told that essentially, I'm a ticking time bomb. One layer or maybe two if I'm lucky, of my normally three layered artery, has a nice little balloon coming out of it. It wasn't huge, but if it burst, I'm back to day one, and being out of hospital maybe just dead if we didn't catch it in time. YAY. So pretty hastily, we organised to see a specialist in Brisbane and the next day we flew down for a review. 

After a few dramas with our flight being cancelled and then on arrival, they didn't have a bed for me, I was finally in bed (exhausted). The doctor came, and didn't seem to know a great deal about what had actually happened to me, and after everything I had been through, wasn't very reassuring. The young registra had suggested that he may wish to do another laporotomy, either that or a stent. I would love to write to this girl and let her know that, this is valuable information that she probably needs to know before she spoke to us. The doctor reassured us that it would be a stent and it was to go in through my groin, very uncomplicated and straightforward (again an echo I think). We had heard it all before. 

By this stage we were very confused. We had read my discharge notes and just from talking to the doctors, the artery that had been severed, had been referred to as; the aorta, the illiac artery and the superior mesenteric artery. So we are thinking, there are two arteries. Especially when one lot of notes said that it was severed and the other says that it was torn (very different in medical terms).   

Oh well, off to theatre again, no general anesthetic this time just local in my groin. This is one of those instances where knowing too much is not a blessing. I knew what they were shoving in my groin/ artery and it wasn't painful, but it was sickening. The doctor however, was lovely, I had been pretty teary going into the op (my tolerance levels were not what they normally are). The doctor was very reassuring and during the op and there is a part when they inflate a balloon in my abdomen, it feels very uncomfortable/ a bit owy. He said "Can you feel that?"

"Yes, it's a bit owy."

"It's just the balloon inflating and we are backing up a bit of your blood."

"Great." (sarcasm)

"It's down now, is that feeling better?"

"A bit, but I think it's mostly in my head."

"No, no it's in your stomach, I can see it on the screen here."

I did not say this, but 'smartarse', was my next thought. The suturing of the artery in my groin and the subsequent pressure that must be applied to stop the bleeding was very painful, as I said, my threshold for pain of any kind was significantly lower than normal. 

The surgery was an uncomplicated success. Finally! The doctor showed me the images of my artery and the repair. After I was back in my room and the pain was now minimal he came for a visit. Turns out that it was only one artery and that the instrument that had punctured it, had actually gone straight through and damaged the opposite wall to where the suture is. Not only that, but this doctor seemed convinced that this aneurysm would have been there, or at least the puncture site would have been there at the time of my second laporotomy So now that the stent is in place, the doctor said that once my laporotomy site has healed, that I am good to go. This news was a relief, because on the topic of conception, we had been having some conflicting recommendations. The initial vascular surgeon said one year before conception, the gynaecologist had said three months, and this doctor said "knock yourself out". Yeeha! 

Even though it was a bit of mental trauma going to Brisbane, this was a very good thing, at least now we knew exactly what had happened, and now that the stent was in place, felt reassured that the puncture site was stable/ strong. So then back home to Rocky. Couple of weeks in town, getting better every day. After two days of being home, I went cold turkey on the pain meds and I didn't need them. Thank god!!! Handy to have for horse busters in the future though! 

I'm back home now on the property and mum has come out with me, just to give me a hand to get back into it, and to do all the jobs that she thinks I might attempt once she's gone. These include; weeding my severely neglected garden, vacuuming the excessive cobwebs and cooking for me and doing all my washing! God I'm going to miss her when she has to go back to work. I feel useless, still being pretty restricted, but it is nice to be home. Tomorrow will be one month since the second op. I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself, I still have a fair bit of swelling to my abdomen, the CT said the haematoma remaining in 16cm x 8cm x 3cm, so I guess that will take a fair while to dissipate. I wish it would hurry up, cause I still can't wear my jeans! Oh well. I'm still alive and that's a bonus. I'm so lucky to have such great support networks around me with my friends and family, it's times like this that you realise where your allies are. 

As you may imagine, a lot of my friends and family want someone's head on a block for what has happened to me. But to be honest, I'm pretty glad just to be alive and at the moment, I don't have the energy to hold a grudge.

 I'm listening to the rain and hoping that the drought stricken areas are getting some of it. I feel for those people, I think I'd rather have gone through all of this, than to see my cattle and horses starving. Here's to the rest of the year, surely it can only get better. I have been to 3 funerals this year and I truly believe I had three little angels sitting on my shoulders. I must have something to contribute to the world yet hey?!? 

Trip with Mumsy!!

 So, this year, for mum's birthday and mother's day present; I kidnapped her. Might not sound that exciting but, it was really, really awesome. I organised it with her boss and co-workers for her to have two weeks off and I planned to take her on a trip down south to see old friends and rellys.

The day that we were to set off, I had a heap of mum's girlfriends organised to go out for a brunch get-together. Meanwhile I drove into town got some groceries (for our roadside salad, lunches and smokos) and then went to mum's place and packed all her bags and packed the car. So when she got home (after I text to say the coast was clear), I was waiting for her with the car all packed and ready to head off. BLEW HER MIND!! Was awesome! She couldn't believe it and could not believe she had all the time off work and that everyone knew. Luckily I had her co-worker there to assure her she really had the time off or she wouldn't believe me.

 So, after a quick goodbye we set off to Bundaberg to stay the night with some beautiful relatives of ours and on the way stopped for a roadside lunch. Mum was still in shock I think. We had ham and salad, with home made salad dressing, home made fried rice and a flask of tea. Fit for a king! On to Bundy, for a catch up, going out to the RSL for dinner. Little were we to know that, soon after this meeting my beautiful uncle would pass away and this would be the last time we got to see him. Such a blessing that we had made the trip!
 The next morning, we headed south, to Caboolture to visit my cousin and her other half. We had a lovely stay here for a couple of nights. Was great to catch up and Jess even managed to get a day off work to spend with us.

We went to the underwater world at Maroochydore which I though was awesome and got very excited about how much you got to see. The photos don't really do it justice.

 Great to spend some time with my long lost cousin from Brisy.

After that we went to the "Australian Nougat Factory", OMG, don't bother!! Sorry, but it's just a house with someone there selling nougat. The front room had a little video showing how to make it (which you would probably see better on you tube) and there are a couple of little stands with the different types of nougat for sale. But there was barely enough room for the 3 of us to stand. In saying that, we did buy some nougat and it was very nice.

 The next place we went was to the Spirit House at Yandina. Wow if you are in the neighborhood, this place is worth the visit. The food is a little bit expensive, but it is to die for! The most beautiful Thai food I have had since eating at Thailand. Plus the atmosphere was just lovely. I really recommend this place, is was gorgeous. Could have spent all day there, and they do cooking classes too which would have been great to do!

After we left the spirit house, we went to the ginger factory, which was not at all what I was expecting. It was beautiful, like a little village! A number of different little shops (I was thinking there would just be ginger, but there were lots of little things), a great place to do gift shopping I think. We didn't leave ourselves enough time for this place. We then ducked across the road to the nut factory, which was more what I expected the ginger factory to be like. A nice little shop though and some beautiful little treats to eat. 

 Next day we went shopping at DFO and, as you can see, we went a little crazy! OMG so cheap!!!

Dinner with Jess and Daniel before we headed off to see some more friends in Maleny.

Secrets on the lake is where we had lunch and this was an amazing place. I would have loved to have stayed there. Wood carvings of animals everywhere, just beautiful!

This was the Montville Clock Shop. I nearly bought myself a co-co clock, but I couldn't justify it and with plans to do a hot air balloon ride, I decided against it!

Montville was just beautiful, so much so that it took us two days to do it and we didn't get time to see Maleny. Oh well there is always next time. Time flew here and before we knew it we were off to Byron Bay. With the hippies.

Jo and Tony are absolutely beautiful people. But mad about their cats, and I mean MAD!!! They buy fillet steak, barra, chicken thighs and lamb; then (wait for it), they cut it up into bite, sized pieces and bag it up so they can have something different each night! I tell you I want to come back as those cats. (Must have been reincarnated Egyptian cats I think) lol.


Too much wine and the cat decided to keep me company!

Isn't mum just so cute!!

My new favorite thing to say!

Spoilt by my mother!

Smoko at the glow worms

 So, off to Byron Bay. Via Mt Tambourine for a tour of the glow worms and a look about at the scenery. I wasn't overly excited by the glow worms, but it supports the industry by going there, so what more can I say. I prefer David Attenbrough better.

Mt Tambourine 

 We didn't stay long in Mt Tambourine because we had another place I had been told to visit. The Crystal Castle. This place was amazing, and I have heaps of photos but it's one of those things that you really must see for yourself. I hadn't told mum about it, so it was a surprise. She thought we were going to a hippy convention! But just absolutely amazing! We could have spent all day here.

 Some absolutely beautiful scenery in this part of the world. It was a lovely drive from the Crystal Castle over to Byron Bay. We stayed with some beautiful people and I'm sorry but I can' remember where it was but there were wonderful.

Friday night park entertainer/ fire dancer. He was pretty good. 

 We decided once we had checked in, to go and get a feed and mix it with the hippies on the beach. They were all congregated around a few people playing drums and a couple of various string instruments. After a while it go a bit hypnotizing. Mum's like, "That takes a lot of talent doesn't it!" It wasn't until she said this, that I realized they just played the same thing over and over again. Ha ha was funny.

Trying to keep our eyes wide for the selfie!

This meal was at Fish Heads on Byron beach!!! THE BEST SEAFOOD PLATTER EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG. It was delicious! I was kicking myself that my hubby wasn't here to enjoy it. Absolutely beautiful1

After our stay with Jo and Tony, we must have been attracting cats, this was on our car outside our hotel room.

The next morning, we drove the 10 hour journey to the Hunter Valley, where I accidentally misguided mum into a 7km round trip walk for our diner. After the big drive, the walk was exactly what we needed, but maybe not so far. Oops. We had sore feet and were exhausted.

 HOT AIR BALLOON TRIP!!

Was an awesome ride to say the least. This was mum's official birthday present. Apart from the "Happy Birthday," as we were leaving for the trip, "I'm your present, for two whole weeks" ha ha.

Leaving Hunter Valley and heading across to Narromine we saw some beautiful scenery. Not sure exactly where this was though. 

After our early morning balloon ride, and our 10 hour trip the day before and our extended walk, we were exhausted. So we decided to head to Narromine, to see the rellys. We had planned to spend and extra day in the Hunter Valley, but we weren't wineos, and the scenery there didn't appeal to us. So we headed out.


Our stay in Narromine was very relaxing. We got to spend the mornings on outings, and the afternoons, kicking back and reading/ snoozing/ relaxing with a wine. It was just lovely. So nice for mum to be able to spend time with her family that she doesn't see often.

 I got to see some sheep being 'scanned in lamb' we even saw some triplets on the scanner. All of which was very foreign to me after being with cattle and never seeing sheep ever. I got to see a ewe being shorn which was pretty cool, and I was very impressed with the sheep dog and wished I could have put him over our bitch here.

 Got to see "THE DISH". Mmmm if you just want to look at the photo, I will understand. I didn't find it that enthralling.

Mum and I with Aunty Nance. 

Old mine site. I think it was gold. 

 Mum even made it into the paper, can't take her anywhere. She's there with Aunty Nance and Uncle Keith.

Time with the rels was over before we knew it and we were off again on our way home.


We stopped over in Lightening Ridge and had a bit of a look around. Was very interesting. Went down a mine, had a look at a few very interesting sites. As you can see in the photos.

The drive up to Lightening Ridge was lovely, but leaving Lightening Ridge was a bit rough because the country was so bare. Just dirt. We went via the Nindigully pub, and had a beer but we decided to keep going to St George for the evening. By this part of our trip we had worked out that we could order a single feed with two plates and it would be heaps to feed us both. At St George, the waitress served it up for us on two plates and we thought she was awesome!


The next day we headed for Roma and called on a friend of ours for a cuppa and a spot of shopping but before long we were off again to spend the night in Springsure. My best girlfriend is almost about to drop with bubba number two at this time and subsequently, every time she got up for a pee, I woke up. So it wasn't a good sleep (since then little Zac was born and is healthy and cute as a button). But lovely to catch up and see the family. The next morning we headed for home. The final leg. We made it in good time and I unloaded mum and had a cuppa before I headed home alone for the final 1 hour leg.


This was one of the most memorable trips of my life and I know I will always cherish the time with my mum and the beautiful friends and family that we were so lucky to be able to visit. Good people are not always easy to come by, but let me tell you that every person we got to spend time with, is a treasured and valuable friend. This is something that I will remember forever!!!